Chapter Six

Is it all right to talk with friends and family about past troubling events?

This is a difficult question indeed. Yes and No would have to be the answer. Yes when it would be safe, and No when it may not be.

When would it not be safe? Perhaps this would be when a person was not emotionally and spiritually strong enough to hear of what might be unpleasant. There has been a time or two, when I was much younger, that it hurt me to hear of events that involved close family members. I needed to know these things, I guess, but it impacted me negatively. I would say that there are some things that need go unreported.

There have been times in my life when I had to shut up about stuff I knew about family members. Just sitting here in front of my computer a couple, of instances rolled through my mind. Sometimes it might be better just to let things ride. Yes, it might be of some relief to get things out, but damage to others could be the result. I am suggesting that there be time spent in prayer, and careful consideration taken before making decisions.

So the “no” part is complicated. Actually it is all complicated. This is a “weak” chapter because I am uncertain of what I should write here.

Concluding this brief piece, let me say that one needs to be careful about revealing that which might best be forgotten and hidden. Based on my own counselling years both as a therapist and a pastor, revelations of a serious nature might well do more harm than good.

I would quite easily state however, that if someone has a need to talk about past events, it would be time to go to a professional or to someone who is not connected to the events. Over the years, as a pastor, some 52 years plus now, I have heard many an unhappy story, which needed to be gotten out into the light of day but must not go any further.

We may well have to sit on tales that yet cause pain, and I think this is what maturity is about, the strength to know the horrors of past events and turn the pain over to our Lord who is always ready to listen. Yes, He is the great counsellor.