The Best Sex

Troublesome Times: Newspaper headlines:

Same-sex marriage winning approval and acceptance

Homosexuality now on a par with heterosexuality

These are troubling times. How then are we, as Bible based followers of Jesus, to respond? Here is one Christian’s point of view.

Sex has long been a center fold of confusion and disagreement. There are so many ways in which we human beings have mis-used sex; the list goes on and on. Sex outside of marriage is wrong according to both the Old and New Testaments, and which has also been upheld by a number of the world’s religions. And this is so because sinful behavior effectively damages human enjoyment of sex and heavily impacts family relationships. Those who most enjoy sex are those who have miraculously followed the Scriptural sexual mandates such as no pre-marital sex, no post marital adultery, no homosexuality, no sex with animals, and so on. Then consider the fantastic draw of pornography; more males are into it than are not, and the result is these folks’ sex lives are often significantly damaged. I think of the phrase, “I can’t get no satisfaction.”

Wait a minute here, doesn’t this sound like hate speech? Some in our culture now would say, “Yes, it is.”

Indeed, some will hear it as such, but others will say just the opposite. And why so? Because of what is presented in the Scripture, from Genesis to Revelation, that “sin, when it is finished, brings forth death” and sex outside of marriage, whether homosexual or heterosexual in orientation, is wrong in the eyes of the Creator God. And the consequences thereof are experienced both now and into eternity. Actually, it is loving speech that points out the dangers and consequences of non-biblical sexuality.

So then human sexuality is under attack, perhaps as never before. Historians, however, have shown that pre-Christian era sexuality was simply just as awful as it is now, and in some cultures, even worse. Indeed, as the Gospel spread and human sexuality became more biblically oriented, the human sexual experience radically improved for those who turned from sexual sin.

Sex can be wonderful, something that can keep us going and desiring to live another day. Mary and Joseph likely had the best sex ever. Once sinful behavior enters the picture however, over a course of time, sex becomes less satisfying and so harmful expressions of sex are engaged in thereby hoping to revive the thrill of sexual activity.

Christ-centered married folks may have great sex, something that strengthens the love bond. But this is not true for those engaged in homosexuality, for example. And just how do I know?

In 1971 three homosexual men, they are all dead now, made appointments with me as I was operating the Marin Christian Counselling Center in San Rafael at our Christian General Store on the Miracle Mile. Each man told me he was homosexual and was also a Christian, and all three wanted help in turning from their gay life. Also, they did not know each other. We began what came to be known as Love in Action, and I oversaw this ministry for ten years. Over those years, many hundreds of gay people were part of this ministry, and I learned how their homosexuality led them to riskier and riskier sexual behavior. (We did lose some to AIDS.)

Most all of my work with Love in Action focused on counseling those who said, at least at first, that they were born gay. As time went on, and my counselling process is what has been called “non-directive,” both men and women would speak of their coming to terms with their sexuality, confess their inner grief, or guilty conscience, and seek forgiveness and wholeness. I would say that the majority of these precious people, who came to this understanding of and by themselves, however slowly, were greatly relieved. It took lengthy periods of time before these people could even describe or relate their sexual experiences. Indeed, self-forgiveness, which is a huge and healthy step, often took many years, and sometimes some could not reach this place of peace. But when peace came it would be directly linking to the reality that all their sinful ways had been laid upon Jesus when He died upon that cross. Their sinful ways they remembered, but the pain of guilt began to lessen.

The long and short of it is they wanted out of the gay life. During that time, I wrote two books on the issue, one The Third Sex? and the other, The Gay Theology, in which there are testimonies of ten people, five men and five women, all of whom had turned away from homosexuality. These two books were published by Logos International in the mid-1970s, which brought a flood of gay people, men and women, to San Rafael to be part of Love in Action. As time went on, I performed many a marriage for these people and saw first-hand the growth of a healthy and biblical oriented sexuality.

Now in this present period of history, with homosexuality becoming normalized and accepted, and in addition, the sexual confusion known as transgenderism winning approval, sexuality for these will not be what it could be or should be. Sinful behavior, sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman, damages human sexuality; this sex does not deliver sexual satisfaction. Of course, those who so engage will bristle with anger at my words, but down deep, at some point, they may recognize and admit the truth of the reality they are living.

Let me be clear, I have no interest in politicizing my stance. We do not live in a world dominated by Christian principles. Statistics are showing now in the beginning of 2023, that the percentage of Christians in America, for example, is radically declining. And of these who yet identify with Christianity, not all of these hold to the time-honored biblical position on sexuality. In fact, there is a growing number of those who count themselves as Christians today who embrace homosexuality as acceptable. And the reasons for this are complex, yet I see some of it coming out of a desire to be accepted and not being dismissed as hopeless fundamentalists.

We are at a point now where we see some who identify as biblically oriented Christians going political on sexual issues, especially homosexuality. This, if successful politically, would result in law enforced morality. And the push back, which I see in the media already, is a rejection of those who are biblically based in regard to homosexuality and a dismissing of Christianity as a thing of the past that needs now to be ignored.

Let me come to the point: it must not be a Christian mission to force others to adopt what we consider to be a biblically based view of human sexuality, which of course is improbable anyway. Instead, we must present the Scriptural view of human sexuality, but not seek to enforce it politically.

Everyone has a right to their own opinion and position, but not all respect the rights of others. It troubles me when those who are of a different frame of mind, who are for homosexual marriage, blame Christians for having another view, and the reverse is also true for me. And yes, some who identify as Christians often act less than Christian to those who hold other views. We do, however, as Christians, need to hold up the truth of Scripture in regard to sexuality and do it in a way that does not demonize or criminalize those who hold opposing views.

People who are part of our Miller Avenue Baptist Church do not know who I vote for. Politics is essentially boring for me, besides being horribly divisive. Oh, I read the newspapers and watch the news programs on television, to keep aware, but this input does not excite me one way or the other. My concern is that others come to faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and begin to turn away from sinful behavior. Being a rep, a dem, an indie, or whatever – my sense of it is that God is not paying much attention. And know for certain, that in an unknown period of time, there will be a judgment and the penalty for unforgiven sin is unimaginably horrid.

Here now is what might be called “the bottom line.” There is an accounting to come at the end of human history and the rap up of the entire universe.

1 Corinthians 6:9–11

[9] Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, [10] nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. [11] And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (ESV)

Paul is writing to a culture, Corinth, a major city in Greece, that embraced all forms of sexuality, and as we read in the passage, homosexuality is included. And the main thing is that those who embrace these forms of wrongdoing will not inherit the kingdom of God. Of course, it is easy to dismiss these words of the Apostle Paul, but they are backed up by words of Jesus.

Matthew 15:17–20

[17] Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? [18] But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. [19] For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. [20] These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.” (ESV)

Mark 7:14–23      What Defiles a Person

[14] And he called the people to him again and said to them, “Hear me, all of you, and understand: [15] There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.” [17] And when he had entered the house and left the people, his disciples asked him about the parable. [18] And he said to them, “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, [19] since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled?” (Thus he declared all foods clean.) [20] And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. [21] For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, [22] coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. [23] All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” (ESV)

Looking back now to Genesis we find the Creator’s original intent.

Genesis 1:27–28

[27] So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. [28] And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.” (ESV)

Then, in the very next chapter, Genesis 2:24–25 we find the following:

Genesis 2:24–25

[24] Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. [25] And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (ESV)

Clearly, we see what the Creator God’s intention is, a man and a woman He created, and even though naked, there was no shame at all. Human sexuality was a grand gift of love. As one reads on in Genesis it is found that this radically changed once Satan, in the guise of a serpent, tricked Eve and Adam and the result is what we refer to as “The Fall.” Human sexuality would never be the same again.

Now looking ahead through Genesis, we come to the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20. And the seventh of these commands is: “You shall not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14) The term “adultery” means any sexual activity other than between a man and a woman having sex together, and being married is of course implied.

These are troubling days for those of us who hold to the time-honored biblical view of human sexuality, and these of all manner of political persuasion. We believers in Jesus are in a minority, and likely will continue to be unless there is another great awakening of the Holy Spirit. Our work now is not political, rather our work is to hold up our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ through whom we have the forgiveness of every kind of sin.

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